What a tough one this is. I cannot tell you how many times I have said "I wish" in the last 23 years and 8 months of my life. "I wish I had better teeth", "I wish I 'woke up like this'", "I wish my children listened to me the first time", "I wish I didn't have to fold laundry", " I wish money grew on the tree in my front yard". The list goes on, and on, and on. But, if I had to choose just three, I think I could come up with the first few things that pop up in this jumbled brain of mine.
One of the biggest wishes I could ever think to have, is that everyone was saved. Do you know what this world would look like if everyone was a follower of Jesus Christ? I believe there would be a lot less hatred and a lot more selfless people on the earth.When I meet people who have no desire to know God, my heart just aches. I couldn't imagine living a life without the grace and mercy of the one who gave it all so that I could live an eternal life one day, without pain and without sadness. I hear the news, and I see the world rotting before my eyes because of people who either don't know, or choose not to believe in a God that can change their life for the better, in an instant! I wish the world felt what I feel when I close my eyes to pray. I wish the world could see beyond the hate, pride, and riches of this life. I wish the world could believe that one day we will walk on streets paved with gold and suffer no more. I WISH that all of the world knew and believed in a man who lived amongst us, was mocked, beaten, bruised, and hung on a cross and left there to die, so that WE could be saved from the evil of our own sins. But, I also know that even as a mere speck in my Father's eyes, he already knew every teeny tiny detail this world was to become, and every moment after. Just imagine a world where everyone knew there was more to this life than what is just in front of our eyes. I wish everyone believed in a God so worthy of our love and our praise.
Another thing I wish for off the top of my head, is that insignificant, meaningless fights between your spouse wouldn't happen. You know the kind I'm talking about. The, "How come you didn't put your toothbrush back where it belongs-you never listen to a word I say-lets get dramatic and make this bigger than it should be" kind. Yes, that kind. The kind where 30 minutes later, while you are sitting on the couch and your husband is snoozing away in the bedroom, you can't even remember why you are fighting in the first place. The face-palm kind. I can't tell you how many of these fights we've had. In fact, we are having one right now as I write this blog. And guess what, I have no idea what we were even bickering about! It's like we are children sometimes. All the times we spend arguing about meaningless crap, are moments we can't get back. Moments we could have spent together, talking, laughing, or other things that make us happy. Of course I know this is all part of a marriage, and we will continue to have spouts of meaningless bickers until we are old and grey. Let's face it, we will probably be bickering about who gets to die first. But, that doesn't mean I can't wish that we would learn how to put our pride, stubbornness, and selfishness away in moments that won't matter 10 minutes after.
My third wish would be that I can become the mother my boys will be proud of. That I would stop putting myself down, and continue to strive to be better. If you are a mom, you know what I'm talking about. I think we all continuously tell ourselves we are doing it wrong, or we aren't good enough, when what we should be telling ourselves is that we are the best we can be! And, we can get better with each passing day. I don't know about you, but I wasn't handed a manual on how to be the perfect mother when I popped two kids out. I wish that I could stop laying my head down on my pillow each night, and having my thoughts swirl around in my head saying things like, "You should have done this differently", "You shouldn't have lost your temper", "You shouldn't have over slept", "You should be more patient", "You shouldn't have gotten frustrated during your 5 year olds homework session", "You really should have brushed your hair today". I wish I could learn to be more proud of myself so that one day, when I'm old and the kids are all grown, they can talk about me with pride because I tried my damnedest to be the best that I could be for them, no questions asked.
If I were granted three wishes, I believe that's what they would be. But, sometimes we should stop making wishes and realize this life is already incredible. It has its ups and downs, and throws you through fiery loops, but it's beautiful nonetheless. All we can do is strive to be whatever we are intended to be, and be better than that.
